On the eve of new hard times i sit in silence, bearing my troubles and my pain. It bade so well just yesterday, to be overshadowed by grief and betrayal in a mere couple of hours. New chances, new beginnings are still there - the light of hope in the fast arriving darkness. And, even if the despair is not mine to feel, i feel the heavy weight of burden on my shoulders. It's hard to dream and roam free with dark thoughs clouding one's mind. And hard times I'll feel deeply, as deep as i've never felt before, i think...

I'm a pragmatic idealist, and when ideals shatter to no greater gain i wince and feel betrayed.

For the first time in my memory i see portents of change. It won't be possible to sit the bad times though anymore, as we used to do. Life will either change or break and shatter into million shards. I longed for a change, stagnation was killing me, but i, i was to bring it. When my time came.

And now we're forced to move, to rethink our lives and i don't know what to do.

If You are there, and You are listening, please, accept my silent hopelessness. I can share my grief, and will do it gladly, but in my lonely castle i can winter though hardest times alone - and i shudder at the thought of burdening someone else with my problems. It's my smile You can save, for i can't bear to weep alone, and i won't.

YT

Shru